When it comes to the conversation of talking about how much a wedding costs, I feel like culturally there’s so much stigma around the topic. The general knowledge of how much a wedding costs is usually based on random blog posts or talking with friends or family about how much they paid for their wedding. Many times the information from those conversations or blog posts is out of date or specific to a particular region. When I hear people talking about wedding costs, there seems to be surprise with an element of judgment either for how much or how little someone is spending on their wedding. The complicated truth is that wedding costs vary so incredibly much. Not only do they vary based on which region of the country that you would like to have your wedding, they also vary widely within that region. There is no set of numbers that will suffice as a general rule. The desires that you have for your wedding play a significant role in the cost as well-simple factors like varieties and colors of flowers, type of menu that you’d like served, tent style etc.

So exactly how do you create your wedding budget if you don’t know what weddings cost? The first step, (*ahem hire a wedding planner) is to go over your finances and determine how much you are willing to set aside for the wedding. At the end of the day, we want to ensure that you’re not creating a larger financial stress for yourselves long term. With an “all in” number in mind, we can then create a day that works with that number. If you get farther into the discussion and find out that your budget doesn’t allow for things that are really important to you, you then need to find a way to add to your budget. Let me note the importance of increasing your budget at this point rather than trying to figure out a way of doing things cheaply. Many chief wedding regrets begin and end with trying to do something cheaply. If someone else has offered to help pay for the wedding, ask for a specific number that they are comfortable giving to you. This is a time to be very clear about expectations and intentions because money mixed with relationships can be a giant source of stress if not handled clearly. Many times I see a generous and well meaning relative offer to pay for a category (photography, catering etc.), the problem with this though is that you’ll then have to consult them on the decisions of which vendor to hire or which menu to choose. They may have a vastly different opinion than you on these choices. So, once again, simply ask that their contribution be added to the “all in” budget instead.

In preparation for budget planning and creating the wedding day, determine your absolute top priorities for the day - three top priorities individually and collectively. This creates a guide for you to direct your focus for planning and spending as well.

When starting the planning process with my clients, I do create a unique budget for each couple. The typical range that my couples spend on their weddings ($25,000-$75,000) obviously is very wide, therefore it is important to find the numbers that work for their specific scenario. There is no one size fits all, and there should be no stigma when discussing budget.

I would love to help you create your budget! Schedule a budget consultation here (for upstate NY weddings).