Hello wedding world!

I’m taking a moment to break my prolonged silence here on the blog to write about a topic that has been mulling in my mind for some time. The issue at hand is something that I encountered repeatedly as a wedding planner and I think that at it’s core it could be described as an expectation issue. My clients would often ask me what “industry standard” was in relation to specific areas of wedding planning. While this is a relevant question, it is unhelpful to use as a main basis for decision making. My region of wedding planning was entirely in Upstate New York, focused on the Finger Lakes region with some crossover into the Catskills. In this region, the majority of wedding vendors are small businesses and in many cases solopreneurs. Every vendor had unique ways of doing business and handling the aspects of their services to clients. Due to this dynamic, industry standard was more of a loose concept rather than something that you could place expectation in…with some exceptions.

Standards that should be non-negotiable are things like requesting that your vendor provide a contract with an invoice detailing costs & payment due dates at the time of booking. They should provide you with a timeline of when the product or service will be delivered - such as a photo gallery will be delivered x weeks after the wedding, or finished video will be delivered x months after the wedding etc. However, your contract with a vendor needs to reflect the needs that you have for your wedding scenario rather than what is perceived as trending with vendors locally. What I mean by this is that you need to make sure that your vendor fits your needs rather than comparing to a vendor that your friend had for their wedding. An example of this is if your venue is not a full service venue, you need to make sure that either your caterer or coordinator provides set up/tear down service. Another example is that if “sneak peek” photos are important to you, make sure that you hire a photographer who promises delivery of a sneak peek in their contract. It’s important, though, to hold your vendors to the standard that is outlined in the contract that you signed with them and not an expectation based on someone else’s experience.

The position of being a wedding planner offered me the experience of hearing the frustrations & successes from both sides, couples and their vendors. I would say that both frustrations and successes almost always comes down to the expectations that are set. As a couple that is planning your wedding, your best guarantee of smooth planning and guarding against stress is to outline your specific needs prior to hiring your vendors. Be as upfront as possible with your vision, needs, and any specific requirements from your venue in your initial inquiry. If you’re a vendor reading this, I can’t emphasize enough how much stress you’ll save by setting expectations early for your clients. Let them know what you can offer, down to specifics like menus and variations, schedules of meetings throughout planning etc. Having a clear expectation set from the beginning allows for relevant questions to be asked, frustrations to be avoided, and peace instead of disappointment.