On this cozy rainy fall day, I’ve lit my candle and poured my coffee to sit down with you and discuss the most important step in planning your wedding. Wedding planning has a bad reputation for being stressful, full of drama and a time to spend more money than you dreamed possible. It gets this bad name from a lack of appropriate preparation and a lack of practical information. So let’s talk about preparing yourselves so that you’ll be the anomaly to the stress filled norm.

You need to create the framework before you begin planning. I can’t stress this enough. So many couples start implementing plans and hiring vendors before they have the framework of their wedding vision in place. The framework includes the information on budget (of course!), the general guest count, and the “feel” or “atmosphere” that you envision for the day. This all starts with simply discussing your preferences and even what you didn’t like in weddings that you’ve attended in the past.

Some questions to start the conversation:

1. Do you like being the center of attention and being surrounded by a crowd or do you prefer celebrating alone or with your nearest and dearest?

2. Are you a couple with champagne taste or do you like keeping things more simple and basic?

3. Are you paying for the wedding yourselves? If so, how much money are you comfortable with dedicating to the wedding?

The purpose of this initial conversation that starts the dreaming about wedding plans is not to determine specifics of aesthetic or menu choices but to simply create the initial framework so that you know which direction you’re going with the wedding. From this point, it’s vital to start your research. Research what wedding vendors cost on average in the region of your wedding. This gives you the chance to reevaluate your budget and determine whether you want to eliminate and redirect spending. It’s absolutely necessary to research every vendor category before you hire any vendors! A common wedding stress occurs when you start spending and then count the cost and realize that you’ve spent in areas that don’t mean as much to you.

When your preliminary research is done, it’s time to start compiling your list of potential wedding vendors. You can find 5 practical steps to guide you through the vendor hiring process here. Don’t be afraid to reevaluate often as you plan and pieces are put into place. This will give you the peace of mind that plans and finances are on track as you go. You can be the couple that is relaxed and excited throughout your wedding planning instead of stressed and anxious!