8 Questions That Every Engaged Couple Needs to Ask

1. Who will make the final call on a decision when we don’t agree?

Planning your wedding is great practice for marriage! Since there will be decisions that you won’t agree on, save yourselves some stress by assigning who gets to make the final call in those (few) scenarios.

2. What are our individual priorities for the wedding day?

Take some time at the beginning of your engagement to sit down and discuss the priorities that each of you have for the wedding. This will help inform where you allocate budget monies and will help you better understand each other throughout the process of decision making. Examples of these priorities may be details like a song that you’ve always dreamed of walking down the aisle to, or your fiancé may prioritize having a band instead of a DJ.

3. Who will we consult for input on decisions?

This is an important point. You will be offered unsolicited input from many sources, but you will need to determine and agree on who you trust to give the most reliable advice.

4. How much, if any, are we willing to spend over our budget?

Unless you have allowed yourself some wiggle room in your budget categories as well as a cushion to absorb miscellaneous costs that come up, this question will likely arise. You may decide that the budget is a hard budget, but it is important as a couple to make sure that you’re on the same page with this.

5. Who will we assign as our wedding day contact people?

I’m referring to your personal “buffers” here. One of the best ways to save yourself stress on the wedding day is to take a break from your phone. It’s important to have someone (like your maid of honor) assigned to be your contact person for the day. Choose someone who will understand which questions are truly vital to pass on to you and which ones are better answered by the coordinator or another party.

6. Who will we trust to coordinate our wedding?

This question is already answered if you have hired a wedding planner for coordination services. However, if that spot is still open, you’ll need to determine whether you choose to go with a professional or a competent friend. An important point to note is that a venue coordinator does not provide the same services as a planner or “day of” coordinator. The venue coordinator is there to host you and your guests and make sure that communication happens with the venue’s staff. A planner/day-of coordinator will coordinate the entire day even if there are separate ceremony and reception venues. They will handle communication with all of your vendors as well as your family and guests.

7. What details are necessary to communicate to our vendors?

Pay close attention to the information that vendors request from you as you hire them. They will let you know when the deadlines are scheduled for the information that they need. If you are planning anything non-traditional or anything that a vendor may not expect, be sure to let them know in advance so that they will be prepared to accommodate you.

8. What type of dessert will we serve?

Ok, but really…there are so many wonderful choices from cakes to frostings to pastries to chocolate fondue. Don’t rush this decision!

Remember that as a couple, planning your wedding is a team effort. You will likely have a few different priorities and that’s ok. The key is to communicate with each other and find creative ways to incorporate and weave both of your desires together.